…it seems like —

 

Was I dreaming?
I’m in bed
the peaking light
sliced with a letter cutter
of a curtain
the world outside is new

I am old

I have my years
I carry them in suitcases
in tables
as I sip tea and coffee
using my utensils of hand and fork to eat

I can’t remember a dream
thats an episode not coming up

will it rain?
will it stay warm?

the comforter is nice

keeps the body glowing even if it needs salt.▬

…in a bundle —

Image via Wikipedia

it was weakening to expire
frailty denies to inhale
still the atomic poison
slapped on air
washing itself
upon my fountain of youth
as predators do prey
in one gasping height of tyranny

oh, I wish I wish
oh — I wish I wish
I can be absurd too
upon a scale
of my own limits

when I go to the aisle
with the shopping cart
its nice to know
the label
had been assigned by me

how a psyche standing in an apron
looking as a cheshire thing
did not grin
and say take this
take that

and in the cot of odd devices
a canopy of cells
twist me and turn me

like grilled meat on some self-deteriorating mouth.▬

…I know it’s hard to resist —

Image via Wikipedia

 

these callouses made me me
I am turned out like a weathered shoe
clanking, irritating others yet comfortable to me
it’s like extra gravity holding me
a pinch of eccentricity

and it’s like cloud shaped like praying hands
and an island suspended in motion
and two gleams of sun
pointed out like a moonbeam in the day

am I just a dumb specimen
just a dumb specimen
running on a bipedal instruction yet
harbouring erroneous deviance?

I mashed my heart into so many smudges of light and grey matter, darkness and oblivion matter
I’m struggling to breathe
my lungs have been compromised
my heart retarded

in this long lane
in this long room
in this long corridor

I wish I could sleep
past 100, 000 years
past the centuries
past the damaging white noise bad noise

even so I am still a chromosome in a field of dots as such
its nice to scream

and know your echo had other wings.▬

I wonder…

 

maybe if I could float like flowers
and thistle
and run on like cacti

without piercing the air
too hard
too fast

choking it in cataclysm

if I did write that note
if I did
would I have seem like the better person?
maybe so
maybe not

hard luck being a cactus on a horizon. ▬

I have this…

Image via Wikipedia

…rounding on in my head
as they once said gladness turned to madness
or can it spin the other way around?

I am walking
in a forest of decapitation
I can’t understand the rolling heads

something tells me
its not the night

I have grasped fists of hair
made a paradise out of levity
now that picture is wrong
I need to breathe

breathe
these branches and heads

why do I think they will always be me .▬

craziness…

Image via Wikipedia

could I say I was crazy? Yeah I could — I can think of many ways I am crazy but lets not get too much into eccentric me 😛 well I did a lot of crazy things when I was a young teen. Imagine wearing  a mic-headseat and trying to dub the dialogues (so-called dub the original track was on) with funny or out from nowhere things? Lol not to mention I use to do parody songs — and that time my  classmates just thought I was stupid though I made a four episode audio thingie of weird love affair and the villain was ‘killed’ by stupidity.

Well, fast forward some years out of school and I even had done a ‘foot video’ where I keep on shaking my foot and comparing my toes to lizards 😛 and singing like a narcissistic weirdo. Yeah one of the funniest photos and craziest ones I took I told two of my friends to stick their tongues out and make weird faces with their eyes looking creepy and what came out was what I titled “tongues of hell” LOL Too bad I don’t know where that picture is…

so crazy is another way of stepping out of the typical…at least for me ^_^

grass is missing

Image via Wikipedia

can I cry you a lullaby?
I’m screaming out with a bruised voice
clamouring on tongue twister melody
can I cry you a lullaby?
to make it saner to fall asleep

I have dreams
I have hopes
yet I mope
yet I tear at my hair
and feel like dissembling myself
you know…it
and I feel like pounding on my heart
tell it stop blocking
stop blocking
set off on emo-cholesterol
set of adrenalin not cool

I wanna cry
I’m crying you a lullaby
to help myself
I am a curtain to myself
I lack photosynthesis
I can’t see sun
and I see crushes on the moon
yet I feel crushed
and its too soon
to be blue
I need the night
I need the day
I want to find out
learn to speak what to say

I crashed on myself
I crashed on too much
I don’t wanna lose it
but I’ve already lost it
I wanna be true
but I can’t stop repeating
recycling sorrow does nothing good

and if I could see the greener side
I would
I would

I know there has to be a greener side
but its missing right now

I think I made it go down
and its growing much
I gotta wait
wait till it plants itself

and I’m missing
I’m missing
I’m missing
MIA
I’m missing

I wanna feel
but I can’t

not at the moment

gotta move on
to a greener side

to a greener world. ▬