Allah Almighty · Daily Life · Inked Arteries · journal · Life Perspectives · non fiction · Philosophy · Psychological · Spiritual · Writing

More info; enlightenment and things that changed

Well, I am afraid that I didn’t read that portion of my old post that well because then I would wrote something larger but truthfully it is good some things are best said well in longer after-posts.

In my last post there is a mention of a family. Of children and how there were cuts and bruises on their kid. I want that family to starve, be humiliated and possibly end up totally ruined.  Yes, the so-called “mom” and “dad” are a bunch of professional actors. It seems my brother married a girl who actually has a history of four or three previous marriages (which she never told us) and she never told us because that is her profession. Apparently, she prostitutes herself this way and her family is in on it.

For a while, like for two years they made my brother’s life hell. My poor brother may get angry but he is not abusive but they were. That Bitch claimed once how bad my brother was at times like screaming at her and I thought maybe she is right but guess what? Her family are the ones who are mentally and physically abusive. They did not let my brother eat properly; they would torture him by starving him and giving him small amounts of money after stealing the money my Dad gave him for the trip. And they did that ingeniously too. Bitch wife forced him to buy them “presents” like expensive stuff. I won’t forget how happy my Mom got when she thought my brother was buying her jewelry because it is a sweet gesture — he called asking about jewelry — my Mom said it was not needed but he never bought her that kind of thing before. Well, it wasn’t for her, it was for “mom”.

Can you imagine my Mom’s face after that? My brother not buying her things but buying expensive things for a woman who didn’t have the courtesy to even feed him properly?

Then they would always threaten police arrests if my brother got angry at their rude behaviour and made him bike long distances because well they wouldn’t even give him bus fare to go places. Bitch wife in their bedroom slapped and kicked my brother and he had to hold her hands and pin them so that she didn’t get more violent. And it was always on little differences she would get mad or if he didn’t agree something for her or family. Bitch wife had rabies and my brother was the vet stuck with her bitchy self and her entire rabid family because, unfortunately, my brother was naive to think if he stuck around it would work out. Yeah, she also forced him at times to write “romantic” comments of facebook wall and when a friend of my brother’s said that sounded (the comments)  a bit weird she snapped as said he shouldn’t talk to him because he is a “bad” friend (those kind of disagreements).

There are other horror stories but I cannot write them because I have to keep my brother’s privacy but when he finally had enough he came back and yeah he was very sad.

Like a PTSD soldier he would feel lost and depressed. At times he would get angry for small issues or large ones but then slump into a depression that was really severe. Sometimes, he would just lie down and refuse to walk around or eat or do anything. Other times he would just eat and eat uncontrollably showing his  starvation. Well, his body showed starvation too and it was a brutal sight seeing my very tall brother emaciated and feeling dizzy as if fatigued and dehydrated and famished and well starved for affection, love and understanding.

They kept the gold jewelry my Mom gave. All of it. By tradition and even any cultural standards you don’t keep what your ex gave to you if its like a wedding ring or more. No, those shameless bastards kept everything. Bitch wife claimed, when my brother was there, that she lost her diamond wedding ring.  Bitch wife actually pawned it. That’s not the only thing she pawned. All the gifts, jewelry and all she kept so she can sell at her convenience.  Bitch wife also kept my brother’s entire DVD collection and might be selling that too. Bitch wife also kept a beautifully illustrated copy of a book I gave to my brother as a present that I wrote a personal message inside  for him to read.

This desecration of personal and intimate artefacts coupled with the desecration a human life is grave robbing and life robbing mixed into one. I cannot believe how these people even keep on breathing. I bet their lungs and other organs are a bunch of rotten crap. (Did I mention “mom” has a pacemaker?).  They are as dangerous as serial killers. They deserve to suffer. Why? I usually try to be quite empathetic to people who even have been rude to me or torturous to me but a Bully and a Sadist with capitals I cannot forgive especially when they are comfortably living not at all economically challenged and have gotten so much love and attention from my family!

In our culture, the jewelry given at marriage are like a maternal or at times paternal lineage or legacy. Like from my father as he was given by his mother or father and their parents. It spans like 3 or 4 generations or even more at times. You can imagine my Mother’s feeling of devastation when her family heirlooms where stolen by these abusive people. And also all her prized possessions. You can imagine my Father’s heartache at also losing so much money and support that were being parasitically taken like a tapeworm glued to their asses by these people.

Obviously, their largest Sorrow and Misery and Pain was that their son came back upset and depressed with PTSD type symptoms at the psychological bullshit they mustered up for him. The full extent is not even known obviously as pain like that cannot be cataloged like an Argos magazine item priced and fully tagged. Bro just kept some things to himself and decided to just well try to get better.

You hear it and you understand more when it happens to you and usually this kind of domestic violence and psychological afflictions and mayhem happen with children or women but truth is those are the stories we hear or want to hear. Men also go through such events by other men or women. Our societies have also a lease, a law on the parameters of domestic violence and what type of violences can be talked about. Once a close friend of mine, Sania, talked about how an aunt of hers was remarrying — after ten years. Last husband was schizophrenic and she was unaware of that (many marriages happen where people involved don’t know about their so called significant others’ background; it is purposefully hid) and she was in shock and misery for that 10 years because it was a very traumatic experience. It took her such a long time to get over that kind of relationship.  And my own aunt was duped into marrying a sick man who died while she was pregnant.

Her marriage was a forceful one. It happened a long time ago and she was lost in village weirdness.  Her parents thought they were doing the so-called right thing. Well she started screaming and swearing at them that thy are fucked up and that they ruined her life. They did. That man, my uncle, was suffering from a cardiovascular disease that disallowed him any sexual activity. But he did it anyway. Resulting in him always ending up in the hospital afterwards. My aunt always wondered what was happening. At that time my maternal Grandfather seriously objected to this wedding but no one listened to him. My aunt did not even know her husband had such a problem.  Then he died. Leaving her pregnant and alone. After she gave birth her in-laws and their family were so crude to her that she had to go back living with her own family.

Sixteen, with a child, and not very educated and at that time though she was a city girl this had been a village affair. She couldn’t remarry. Men those times and even now do not like to marry girls who have children. Maybe times are changing and men do change but in those days men had a serious problem marrying a girl with a kid — oh, they could fuck around but a women who has a child from a previous marriage and legally by many rules and standards is not fit to marry. Not to mention her son is a total ass at times and she had do a lot to keep him at least semi-happy. At times she was very mean to him and that is what that ungrateful child remembers and doesn’t remember how she tried and tried so hard to keep him happy. Not to mention that brat also hated her getting re-married if she could because he loves his dad too much and knowing everything that is very unfair to his own mom. I can understand that his father is totally a bad guy and that to his child he probably would be A quality and any child has the right to reminiscence their father. But they must also take into account the other factors involved. Yes, she shouldn’t have been mean but she told me truthfully it was out of helplessness. She couldn’t buy him pretty things and she didn’t know how to handle him asking for them. She is strong but I know she is heartbroken and lonely at times too.

My brother, Thanks To Allah Almighty (God), recovered and has a girlfriend; someone new he can love and trust. But it wasn’t easy. There were lots of sad moments between them  because she too was betrayed and both of them had trust issues. But you know it was also a heart issue. How can you navigate your feelings and emotions when someone has brutally sawed them, left them tactless and even scarred and bruised your entire body just for some money or ego trip? It becomes hard at times. You survived a major ordeal. But at this moment they love and need each other. They  shouldgrow and be strong from and for each other. And at this moment, Thank God, they are; they are trying.

I heard Bitch wife sold some of our jewelry and bought herself a shiny new car. Now I know why Hell exists. People like them deserve all kinds of reprimand. All types of executions and punishments earthly and otherwise. My brother suffered. His wounds were deep. They isolated him from us and even made him stop talking to us; limit or delete his facebook so that he can’t talk to us.  That is violence and abuse. Not to mention she referred to me as a slut and retard to him at every turn though I never wrongfully spoke to her in my life. These kind of people advertise empathy but then steal and they are classic sociopaths and raising their kids as ones too. The biggest “mystery” is that the youngest sister may be actually Bitch Wife’s daughter from a previous affair that they advertise as her sister. Ironically, my brother named her.

So, yes, this is the tale or tales of some tragedies. The enlightenment I got was that some people are perverse and are strange sadist fetishists who prefer looking at parts of people (their body, breasts, genitals, hair, wealth, connections) and just abuse that. Sure, we all have made friends or contacts based on some categories but we treated them as human beings, we were humble when they offered any aid and we remembered that they had other things to do as they are not only two dimensional they are more.

I think the line between serial killer and serial abuser is sometimes very thin because once you have wounded a person so deep and then laughed and snorted at their misery as it was your coke fetish, haven’t you done something that equals to murder?

Your comments are welcomed. If you have faced this, going through it, or survived this I want to know. Or just know of someone or just plainly want to say something about it go right ahead though if you are going to make fun of the pain of the people involved here saying my brother is not a man and aunts are bitches or what not then don’t dare write anything. You are not the man and you are the bitch because you do not know how a situation like that is. Haven’t there been people in your life who were mean or really gross. You can’t solve every problem by punching a person unless you are on an equivalent turf. For everyone else: What do you think about all of this ?

Allah Almighty · Daily Life · Inked Arteries · journal · Life Perspectives · non fiction · Philosophy · Psychological · ScribbleNibbles · Writing

What I miss and etceteras…

 

Going through my old blog posts when I was a student made me feel somewhat happy. It was fun what the old me was thinking lol; here is the post:

Well, it was Sunday 16th 2010 – My summer semester was to begin.
I had spent the whole night talking to one of my best friends, Efadul Huq, due to lack of sleep – as I slept during the day – and had become quite nocturnal during my semester break.
Well, I got up and I think I breakfasted and was actually waiting for the computer guy to come so that my desktop internet would be reestablished – due to a storm my broadband lines were cut and he was supposed to come and fix them. He did not come. Alas I was going to have my other internet source in my laptop – though I kinda preferred to work in my desktop at home as I have reved it up with all my essentials in comparison with my laptop counterpart.
I took an unsteady nap thus getting a bit moody when my mom was playfully pushing me awake and she was like “Why are you so angry? I’m only kidding…” I apologized and I got ready. The first class was Biology 101 at 2pm. It was 1pm and if anyone knows Bangladesh, Dhaka then they know that traveling from a place called Dhanmondi to get to Mohakhali is a chore due to the plague, the epidemic called TRAFFIC JAM!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I sorted out my things. Got in the car. My driver and I headed out. It was hot. That would be an understatement. It was humid. That too would be a child’s word, a mosquito pinch or let’s say a little prick of a statement. It was monstrously hot and humid somewhat comes close to a definition. Anyway, there we were sitting in the car and waiting around. Surprisingly, Thanks to Allah Almighty – a miracle of nature – I arrived at uni at 1:30pm. So after getting into the elevator at the 13th floor – surprisingly my bio teacher was there as well in the elevator – and I got down to my floor. I talked there with some of my friends. I also talked to a teacher basically on how and when shall I meet my thesis supervisor (actually my TA in past courses and a senior friend). She told me not to worry and that she will inform the Professor and that there will be a meeting with him. I was hoping I would meet him that day as I needed the “go” from him involving the thesis – as in if I am going the right way or how to structure and the books I am doing – so, it was time later on and I went to class.
Bio 101 is a basic course. The teacher was friendly. In fact I made arrangements during my advising so that I took my course with him as my friend suggested that he is a great teacher (this friend took a break from this semester). He went on telling on the basics “You might be a philosopher but in biology you are just a bunch of carbohydrates, fats and proteins…” that was kinda funny. He gave us the basics and class ended a bit earlier. I had decided – when no one else was speaking and he asked what we might do our first assignment papers on – to do it on mutation. I don’t own maybe Eugene Victor Tooms from The X-Files classic paranormal monster set was going around my head. So, I went upstairs to my department and found my supervisor didn’t arrive early so I left it to my TA friend to do what we though of before.
I then went to my Sociology 301 course called “Sociological Theory” which is a prerequisite to my Soc Minor and it was being taught by a sir I wanted to do courses with from last year but he went away to the States for a semester and I thought that he wasn’t coming back soon. Cool, my expectations were not disappointed Thanks to Allah Almighty. He came back and it felt like manna after a starvation period I had with a previous SOC course. No, the Sir was nice but his course schedule was bony and not edible. Anyways, Sir was great. He wanted us to participate in something he called “Institutionalized Adda.” which is non-directed discussion with any topic available. He asked if anyone wanted to volunteer and no one did. I opened my big mouth. I asked Sir if he saw movies? He said yes but not much and talked about how he recently saw Avatar with his son and then the movie conversation went to Pother Prachari a Bangladeshi classic movie – reflecting on so many issues (unfortunately, I haven’t seen it).
The discussions were good and fun. Sir is a free person and it is easy to talk to him on various issues. We started talking on detective fiction and how the West shows have a good dynamism in their detective shows as in CSI and then I talked about The X-Files and I remember my friend commenting on its creepiness but Sir saying how he loved Mulder and Scully as much as I did (though he forgot that Mulder was the guy and Scully’s name ^_^) I think that is extremely important in a teacher. Anyways class ended (I feel satisfied to say it was a great class). I went to my building back again hoping to see my supervisor. My TA regretted to tell me that he was in a rush and left. It was around 5pm and I wondered what I could do as I thought the sooner I talked to him the better. She advised me to go to my advisor and talk to her so that I could do something about the situation. I told my advisor. I said I had my Sup’s number but that it would be weird to call him out of the blue. She agreed and I asked her if she would call him on my part. She agreed to help but thought best to SMS him. I told her I was willing to go to Dhaka University where my Sup also teaches so that I can talk to him and that it is imperative that I do so. She was writing the SMS. I made comments on the horrible weather which she did not acknowledge though she did chat with me. I thanked her immensely. I saw that she had taped a printout on Surahs (prayers) concerning their roles. I had not known those facets of them. I confessed that I do not know much on religion at times. We actually recited some Surahs together – yeah she is religious – and I thanked her again for helping me. She took my number and told me she is going to call me as soon as possible when she hears from my supervisor.
Well, there I was. In the car. Going back home. Kind of irritated that I hadn’t talked to Sir. But hoping I would talk to him soon. I think I dozed off in the car a couple of times – oh yeah I did – I was really tired. I got home but not by the usual way as there were some political traffic on the road and police get extra bitchy then. I realized it though I feel asleep and asked my driver if we were going the right way and I thought I was misconceiving but I later realized I was right.
Getting home I saw the computer guy. He came late. But was efficient. He said he has to realign the wires so he would come back Monday Morning. I said ok. As I only have one class on Monday starting from 9:30 am and ending at 11:00am I told him to come around 11:30ish – he agreed and left.
Monday 17th – Had a big breakfast and was watching Space Chimps – it’s a cool animation movie though couldn’t finish watching it in MMnet1 or 2 as I had class. My SOC 370 class, Marriage and Family, was the same SOC Sir. We started talking about marriage. Then Sir asked why I was so quiet today (I was actually sitting at the back as I was kinda late). I asked Sir about the Kinsey Scale and how Kinsey defined that no one was a 100% heterosexual nor a 100% homosexual. Sir agreed that finding pure homosexuals and pure heterosexuals were hard to find – by the way my TA friend came into the class; she knows Sir well so she decided to come and sit in class – in fact, he enlightened on a gay student, whom he didn’t know who was gay but who told him so was now having a heterosexual relationship – obviously, the opposite runs true as well. The facet that interested him the most was that more men are homophobic than women. He said it is socially ingratiated. He recollected that as a youth he was more prone to it but as he grew wiser it was obviously clear to him that it was not right to be homophobic. He admitted that he knows Bangladesh has issues on this but homosexual do exist potentially in religious oriented countries due to sexual frustrations. Also, he admitted that humans are not inherently monogamous – be they male or female – and that they are also mostly bisexual by nature – able to be attracted by both the sexes.
Afterwards, when coming home I asked if the computer guy came. The security guard said he did not. After an hour later the computer guy comes upstairs and says that he has been working downstairs in the garage and grounds for quite some time. He redirected by cable from across the street to my place. He had tied a chord to a room and pulled the rope up using that via a window. Connected it. Internet in Desktop again. MASHALLAH Success. Afterwards, my brother’s in-laws – who we call Mom and Dad – came with my sister-in-law’s younger brother and sister. They have come from Australia and was going to stay for a while – my Bro and my Bhabi (sister-in-law) still there. Bhabu’s younger brother who is 13 years younger than me, bought me some stationaries as I like them. I excused myself as I couldn’t sleep the night previous and turned on the nocturnal binds. I slept from 2:45pm to 8:00 pm and as Allah Almighty would have it so did Efad as I seen him give me a Good Morning on the chatbox. Mom and Dad came for dinner. Bhabi’s younger sister who’s like 3 or 4 got hurt – she fell down and cut her chin. She was not allowing Mom to touch it but Mom cleared the cut and put vaseline on it. Mom got scared if it became a permanent scar as Bhabi had under her chin – she said when my Mom appeared, as I told her my Mom knows of these things, that when the young girl’s skin grows it might appear right on her chin. My Mom said she should bandaid and Nivea on it and that Nivea works wonders.
Tuesday 18th – Got to class a bit late. Nocturnal habits interfering. Saw some disturbing extremist religious videos with Efad the following night (Yeah I am a Night Owl and he is having no summer classes or stuffs to do yet). So went to class. HOT HUMID DISGUSTING. I had walk from the ground floor to the 9th as Elevator was full. The heat made me want to puke. Saw my good friend Samin on the stairs gave her a hug and said “Later Babe…” after telling her how DISGUSTING HOT IT WAS. Had class. It was a revision of the first. Sir said at the end that he usually doesn’t do this but was making an exception as it was the beginning of the semester. I didn’t have to write anything. Went to the 13th saw my Sup – I was supposed to meet him that day on 4:50 pm but he was here now and my advisor tried calling me on Sunday but I was dead asleep so I called her back on Monday morning and got the news – So I thought I should talk to him.
We sat down and he asked if I started anything yet. I told him ” No” then started off with my plans. He agreed with them and told him to write chapters first and the intro last. We agreed we would communicate via SMS, calls and Email to set up meeting dates or for other stuff. Then I went to SOC 301 Had a BLAST ONCE MORE 0 Sir said as a sociologist he also is fascinated at seeing how we converse – and then came home.
I fell asleep. Waking up at 11 My parents reminded me it was Bro’s Birthday. He read my card first, the one I secretly sent with Dad, and he cried a bit – he misses me. Mom and Dad had come and left. I had dinner with my Parents.Then stayed up the whole night again with Efad also doing stuff in the States (yeah so for him it is not Nocturnal) and talking to me after I had talked to my Dad.
In fact I have another SOC 370 class now – it’s Wednesday 19th – my class starts at 9:30am and it is 7:17am and I supposed to wake up at 8. Well 15 mins of nap is good.
When funny is I spent a good amount of 6th March, 2014 also watching the X Files and thinking about studies and maybe I couldn’t go to class (I was a bit sick) I realized the previous me in that post was doing more stuff at school because I was afraid that today was the course midterm and that I just forgot about it.  I haven’t changed that much.
Because of my job I had to cut down on my nocturnity but this week I practically came to work so I went back to lygophile status with that  and well, I know it will diminish again next week when I go back to work though I have handed in my resignation (that is for another post). Me and Efadul Huq are still friends but we lost a bit of closeness. We are no longer avid conversationalists. To be honest he is busier now and at times more glum and worried about the world and I think that he is becoming more hermit like now; though he always kinda was (I could be wrong). My friend Samin and I haven’t talked in 4 years — not for any fight it’s just we hadn’t crossed paths anymore and I think she changed her number and I don’t have her in my facebook. Technically, I think she was away for a while giving us  a gap we didn’t go dental on.
I don’t know if things have changed a lot but they have and have not changed.