Coming here from Christian Mihai site as well. I am very happy you are writing about your mother. These lines got to me.
“My father had been chasing her for years and, knowing him though a previous boyfriend, she thought he was a good catch. At the very least he was a non-drinker who worked hard, which to my 34 year old mom, was probably good enough in a man. My mother never loved him but thought that maybe in time it would come to her.”
I mean I don’t like people, especially women, settling. Settling is a very hard-nailed object. It crucifies you even before you have lived and I am glad your mother escaped it because though she may have had your father she was smart enough, intelligent, to know that good men can mean multiple things. I know men like this. They chase you because you fulfil an image for them, even women who chase or like being chased, men who liked being chased do the same. Like, then they act all wounded if you reject them. Rejection is a blessing at times. I mean seriously too much acceptance in things like this can lead to overcrowdedness. I know they feel they love you because they chased you, but for all people it is not the same case. I am happy your mother had the strength to move beyond all of this.
Upon returning to the United States in the early 1980s my mother tried to pick up the pieces and continue living. She was mostly focused on finding better employment and helping her mother financially in Mexico. One thing missing in her life was a stable relationship. Already in her early 30s she believed that finding love and a lasting relationship were out of the question. Moreover, she was not even sure she could have children.
Fertility was a doubt because my mother was plagued with bad health throughout her life. Growing up doctors always told her she had a weak heart. Later, in her twenties, she was forced to undergo a procedure to remove polyps from her nose–without anaesthetic–a surgery that would haunt her nightmares for years. She still remembers how the doctor performing the operation had…
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